Episode 42

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Published on:

22nd Nov 2023

Needing vs. Wanting: Can You Choose To Love?

“Needing may feel like wanting, but it comes from the worst in us. It comes from a poorly developed sense of self, where we need our partner to soothe our anxiety, boost our ego, and constantly agree with us.” - Sharla

Ouch, that hurts, doesn’t it?

We all know that being called “needy” comes with a negative connotation. But you’re not needy, right? You’re just expressing your preferences and your desires…


Well, let’s see how many times we’ve probably been guilty of turning our wants into a NEED…


Have you ever:


  • Stayed angry and miserable so you can keep your partner miserable?
  • People-pleased yourself into resentment when you’re not getting praised for your deeds?
  • Required tons of praise and compliments to feel loved?
  • Withheld doing something until your partner did their part?


Don’t worry, it’s in all of us. We all want to be wanted. But when we don’t get what we want, it can become a slippery slope for Need to come bursting in making demands.


The good news is, there’s a way to overcome the neediness and mature into loving relationships that honor both individuals involved. Tune in to learn how.


“This is also why the level of intimacy you will have in your relationship WILL be directly correlated to how much discomfort you can handle.” - Robert Snow


In this Episode:

- Needing vs. Wanting

- Examples of neediness

- How Wanting differs from Needing

- How to know if you’re wanting or needing

- Disillusionment — really knowing your partner

- Love is about choosing

- How to shift your needs to wants and choosing




Resources Mentioned In This Episode:



MYM Resources:


Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:


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About the Podcast

Master Your Marriage
Experiencing deeper love, passion and connection in your relationship
The average couple waits 6 years to get help in their marriage. That's 6 years of pain, hurt, frustration and lost opportunity.

This podcast is designed to help you NOT become a part of that statistic.

Hosted by Dr. Robert and Sharla Snow — themselves married for 31 years — The Master Your Marriage show is here with straight-talking guidance on how to fill your marriage with fun, friendship and love, without it ever feeling like "hard work."

No matter how long you've been struggling with your marriage, or how long it's been since you've felt that "spark," we promise you, there is hope!

Your MASTERFUL marriage starts here.

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Master Your Marriage The Snows