Episode 26

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Published on:

2nd Aug 2023

Decoding Sexual Desire: Better Sex Through Self Awareness

How do you see yourself? How do you see your partner? And how do you think your partner sees you? Decoding our sexual desire is the theme of this week's episode, as Sharla and Robert debunk the Hollywood ideas of what sex 'should' be like in a relationship.

Together they get to the heart of what is required to maintain a deep, desire-driven relationship well into the years when cellulite and old age may traditionally start to impact the level of sexual desire for your partner that you would expect to have. 

Drawing on the work of renowned therapist David Schnarch, they look at the traditional drives of love and desire – Lust, Romantic Love, and Attachment –  and then turn the spotlight on the all-important, less-understood 4th drive: your sense of self. 

The good news is that desire and attraction can get better as we age together in our relationships. 

Being secure and honest in who we are, appreciating the differences in the other person, and allowing yourself to be fully seen are just some of the ingredients to this as we learn that our own sense of self is perhaps the biggest driver of our sexual desire. 

Your chance to be fully seen and fully desired awaits. Please join us. 


 "When you believe that sex always works naturally and easily – and then that is not your experience – it's easy to go down the rabbit hole of 'I'm defective' or 'There must be something wrong with me.'" ~ Robert Snow


"There is always a ‘higher desire’ partner and a ‘lower desire’ partner." ~ Sharla Snow 


In This Episode:

- Sharla shares her sexual education (confusion, shame, and trauma)

- How desire drops when we think there is something wrong with us

- What can go wrong when we satisfy our ‘lower desire’ partner

- The Three Drives of Love and Desire... and then a Fourth!

- Understanding how our sense of self impacts our desire

- What does having a 'reflective sense of self' mean? 

- 'Giving up or growing up': shifting our locus of self-worth

And so much more!


MYM Resources:

- 8 Pillars Of An Exceptional Marriage - ​​https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/8-pillars

- Link to the MYM 8-Week Coaching Program - https://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/MYM423

- David Schnarch Intimacy and Desire Book - Intimacy & Desire: Awaken the Passion in Your Relationship - https://www.amazon.com/Intimacy-Desire-Awaken-Passion-Relationship/dp/0825306299/

- David Schnarch Passionate Marriage Book - Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships - https://www.amazon.com/Passionate-Marriage-Intimacy-Committed-Relationships/dp/0393334279/


Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:

- Website: http://masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/

- Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/

- Facebook - http://facebook.com/masteryourmarriage

- TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage

Listen for free

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About the Podcast

Master Your Marriage
Experiencing deeper love, passion and connection in your relationship
The average couple waits 6 years to get help in their marriage. That's 6 years of pain, hurt, frustration and lost opportunity.

This podcast is designed to help you NOT become a part of that statistic.

Hosted by Dr. Robert and Sharla Snow — themselves married for 31 years — The Master Your Marriage show is here with straight-talking guidance on how to fill your marriage with fun, friendship and love, without it ever feeling like "hard work."

No matter how long you've been struggling with your marriage, or how long it's been since you've felt that "spark," we promise you, there is hope!

Your MASTERFUL marriage starts here.

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Master Your Marriage The Snows