Redefining Codependency
Do you really need another person in your life to be happy, healthy, and reach your greatest potential? When viewed like this, is codependency such a bad word? Sharla and Robert aren't sitting on the fence on this one. In fact, they are challenging the stigmas around the word codependency and the way society teaches us to apply that label indiscriminately — and oftentimes detrimentally.
Their reasoning is backed by compelling evidence that ranges from the way mushrooms form underground networks in forests as a way to strengthen through connection, to studies on attachment, the Dependency Paradox, and the results of 'shock tests' administered when you are holding your partner's hand.
Sharla and Robert weave their personal stories of childbirth, and surgery, and the profound impact that holding your partner's hand can have on your own empowerment – all the while gently changing the narrative around how we sensationalize independence at the expense of shared intimacy and support.
This conversation is worth listening to repeatedly as we celebrate the fact that we are actually hardwired for dependency on the ones we love – and that embracing this fact can lead us to ever greater personal success in life.
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"Our culture has taught us to really reject this idea of codependency, believing that true independence and self-sustainability is a much healthier form of attachment." ~ Sharla Snow
In This Episode:
- Should we aim for less entanglement in our relationships?
- Understanding when dependency is healthy in an intimate relationship
- Sharla's recount of the birth of their last child and how Robert inspired and empowered her
- What does our culture have to say about codependency – are we being misled?
- Understanding why our need for attachment is a human condition
- What can we learn from mushrooms about our need for human connection?
- Appreciating oneness as a superpower and survival advantage!
- How Sharla supported Robert through his hernia surgery
- The more dependent we are on each other, the more courageous we tend to be when facing everything outside of our relationship
- What if your partner isn't fully available to you?
And so much more!
Resources:
- The 8 Pillars of an Exceptional Marriage - http://bit.ly/3Eksoqs
- Attached (Amir Levine) - https://www.attachedthebook.com/wordpress/
- Flowers (Miley Cyrus) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7KNmW9a75Y
- The Dependency Paradox - https://jeanhuber.com/the-dependency-paradox/
- Mary Ainsworth’s Attachment Theory - https://study.com/academy/lesson/mary-ainsworth-theory-biography-quiz.html
Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:
- Website: masteryourmarriagepodcast.com
- Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriage/
- Facebook - Facebook.com/masteryourmarriage
- TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@masteryourmarriage